From Bad to Worse...

Well, here we meet again.

The last couple of posts have been a bit off topic. I guess I have been avoiding reliving horrible memories, but here goes anyway. We were very blessed that Cheyenne had made it through her surgery! We were also blessed that the surgeon didn't think the cancer had metastasized (spread to other areas in her body) and we were home!

Cheyenne had been injured in a softball game sliding into second base in March of 2015. From a CT scan in the ER, a nodule was found on her thyroid that eventually was biopsied as Papillary Thyroid Cancer. This has been our story....

On April 7, 2015 Cheyenne returned to school, a mere four days post-op, after complete thyroid removal. She was determined to make it as always and she did. She even went to support her teammates at their softball game (which they won) and readied herself for FFA dairy judging the next day. She accomplished that also! It took her sitting in a lawn chair at each area, but she did it. She was exhausted both physically and mentally, and cratered if she sat for more than a minute or two. Most people don't understand how much your thyroid affects your overall health until they experience it. Many people experience feeling colder, being fatigued and suffer from forgetfulness and depression. So, besides just having a major surgery, Chey was having many of these symptoms. Regardless, she kept on plugging along doing the best she could before all hell broke loose on the 9th.

We had been in an ongoing grievance process with Chey's school district since her sophomore year. We had followed the procedure to the "T" as outlined in the policy, yet, the school had refused to hear the merits of our case. Instead, they had stated we filed untimely. Ultimately, after going in front of the school board and losing that Level III appeal-by a 4 to 3 vote, we appealed to the Commissioner of Education, Michael Williams, and on January 16, 2015 he released the decision.

His decision was in a multi-page document, stating "After due consideration of the record, matters officially noticed, and the foregoing Findings of Fact, in my capacity as Commissioner of Education, I make the following Conclusions of Law:

1. The Commissioner of Education has jurisdiction over this cause under Texas Education Code section 7.057(a)(2)(A).

2. Respondent (DISD) cannot reasonably interpret its grievance policy to require Petitioner (Holts) to file a grievance within 15 days of not receiving a report card, when Respondent's teacher told Petitioner that the report card was delayed to add extra credit.

3. An informal grievance policy that encourages a student or parent to meet first with a teacher, principal, or other campus administrator to discuss the problem tolls the timeline for filing a formal grievance until the conclusion of the informal grievance process.

4. Petitioner engaged in the informal grievance process under Respondent's local policy and timely filed a formal grievance within 15 days after the conclusion of the informal grievance process.

5. Petitioner has pled a viable claim that Respondent has failed to adopt or implement policies that meet the requirements of Texas Education Code section 28.022.

6. Petitioner's appeal should be GRANTED, and the case should be REMANDED to Respondent for further grievance proceedings on the merits of Petitioner's claim."

As of April 9, 2015 (and today) the district had not granted that hearing. So we filed for a temporary injunction to prevent the school from calculating and issuing class rankings until a fair hearing was held, as ordered by the Commissioner. We had tried for two long years to work with the school and their policy and felt they had drug their feet hoping Chey would graduate and it would all go away. The hearing was scheduled for Monday April 13, 2015.

This information was included in an article on theflashtoday.com "Holt Family Takes Dublin ISD to 266th District Court in Erath County." The article also stated that the DISD had filed documents in Travis County "because they say the first grievance hearing was held on the student's merits and the grades, not on timeliness." (If you read the transcripts, the school's lawyers clearly and repeatedly remind everyone present that the hearing is strictly on "timeliness" not merit or grades.)

Anyway, Chey had been bullied and ostracized since early on. Many kids said to her and us also that we were "suing the school." We were not, we were following the grievance policy the district had established. Chey often sat alone and the bullying was both in person and online. Of course nothing was ever done. I even had the AD tell me it was my fault because I "put a target on her back."  Unbelievable response!!

When we found out Chey had cancer, I kept thinking, 'Maybe, they will show some compassion and finally do the right thing, have the hearing and put this behind us all.' Some of the kids attitudes had softened, a bit, since her diagnosis, I hoped the adults had too. Boy was I wrong! When the article posted, the few that had thawed were back with claws out. You know how a wild animal reacts when it smells blood? They attack. That's what happened with Chey. Even though the merit had not been addressed and people did not know the story, they judged her as guilty. Sadly, complete strangers seemed to have an easier time, at least, giving her the benefit of the doubt.

I think there is a mob mentality in many small towns and when the school is the biggest employer, it is even worse. I think people are often fearful of retaliation. No one likes to talk about it, but we all know it happens. Our lawyer, told us not to read the comments but how can you not? Thank goodness Chey was too tired to bother, but I had to read them--well at least in the beginning that is.

I was amazed at how people, totally removed from the situation, basically crucified my child, while knowing she had been diagnosed with cancer, no less. They had no idea at all as to what had happened and yet their comments were horrible! I was also amazed and ashamed for those that were acting like our friends to not have the backbone to be upfront. Instead, they would go in and "like" the horrible comments while telling us how much they support us. We are including preachers and teachers in that lot. Boy did it open my eyes to the callousness of others. Having said that, there were a few brave enough to openly support us and we will forever be grateful.  (Love ya, Jim, Carol, Rachel and the work bunches) 

The adults have no excuse, period, and I realize that kids are as fickle as the Texas weather so I could cut them a little slack, but only a little. It didn't seem to matter to any of them that Cheyenne had taken and passed, a polygraph in regard to the issue at hand. When you are a follower, you just jump on the bandwagon because you cannot think for yourself or lead on your own-that is just a fact of life. Very sad, but very true. I guess it is how they try and make up for not having the gifts others do and the drive to succeed. To this day though, I really wonder where their compassion is, if they even have some. I eventually stopped reading the comments and have learned people are basically mean and most are two-faced. Their lives are governed by trying to do more than the Jones' and trying to avoid their own shortcomings and failures by attacking others.

I am also amazed, that my beautiful daughter can still be civil to these heathens. She waits on them at her job and is always as polite to them as she is to any other customer. That to me speaks volumes to the kind of person she is, it is very, very hard for me though. My kids will be better than their momma.

I have said multiple times I am certainly not the best Christian, but I am always up front with everyone. You get what you see and I will tell you my opinion to your face. I am not one to wear one shirt inside the church doors and another when outside those doors. It upsets some, but it is what it is. The way Chey was treated at school is a big part of our story so it will be included in that context. I do not say much about it anymore as we are just in a waiting game, (they usually tell their lawyer when I do and then they call my lawyer.)  Eventually, we will either have a date set in Travis County or we won't, it's that simple.

Chey slept an enormous amount over the weekend. More so than just the thyroid, she was coming down with something to boot. It was par for the course, though, with court bright and early Monday morning.

Next time, Alice and the Queen of Hearts,

XXOO Make Everyday Count,

Bonnie

Home Again, Home Again Jiggity Jig

Well, it sure seems like time just flies right on by and doing this blog gives it a tailwind! I guess that means we are having fun OR I'm getting old...no need for feedback on that one.

On to our story. I have been sharing the journey we have been on since our teenage daughter was diagnosed with PTH (papillary thyroid cancer) inadvertently, after a neck injury while playing softball. At this point in the story, Cheyenne's tumor had been removed, along with her entire thyroid and a lymph node, on Good Friday 2015. We had returned home jiggity jog and we were all exhausted.

With the holiday just having passed, I would like to take a minute, again, to thank those people that helped us be able to concentrate solely on Cheyenne and not the finances. Thanks to Mr. and Mrs. David Conner, owners Dublin Golden Chick and all patrons that participated in their fundraiser. Thanks to Papa, Granny and Double N Cowboy Church for the yard sale fundraiser. Thanks to Jeanette Luckie and all my co-workers at CCMC for the lunch fundraiser. Thanks to Missy Taylor and KB Enterprises for the lunch fundraiser and to all those who donated to Chey's medical fund at Dublin National Bank. We will always hold ya'll dear to our hearts.

Even with insurance, there is always the deductible, co-pays and out of pocket expenses that have to be met annually. You add in the cost of transportation, housing and food and it doesn't take long to drain a savings account, IF you are even lucky to have one in the first place. I count our blessings every day for both Ed and I having good jobs and the help we received. We consider ourselves very lucky.

Some families, like Luke Nelson's in Stephenville, have absolutely unimaginable cost for the treatment of their child's cancer. In Luke's case, it's Neuroblastoma. He has undergone so many tests, procedures, bone marrow aspiration, months of antibody treatment, feeding tubes, morphine drips (because the pain is too much for this 4 year old to handle), in-patient stays, cost of meds for the treatments and not to mention his parents time from work and travel costs. I cannot fathom how they stay as positive as they do...Mia does an amazing job!!

Anyway, we have been very blessed,  and I want to give a little plug for them. Luke lives in the community over from us and they have a GoFundMe account set up to help with expenses www.gofundme.com/lukenelson. If you feel the need and have the ability, I am sure they could use some help...

Coming up next time:

We knew the next few weeks would be trying, we just didn't know how bad they were going to turn out....

XXOO Make Everyday Count (Happy Easter)

Bonnie

Brazil or Bust a Gut! Finally!

As I found myself being temporarily displaced at work, I began looking back through the posts. I was amazed (happily) to see that we have hit our First Year Anniversary of this blogging adventure!! I also noted, that we are nearly at the two-year anniversary of Chey's diagnosis. WOW, 23 posts! I keep pinching myself because I never knew if I could really do this. So, THANK YOU, Shelby and the Good Lord.

Well, for those constant readers that have stuck by me through my huge learning curve, I've been teasing you a little with Brazil or Bust a Gut. Today, I will tell you my recollection. For those new readers, I have been sharing our journey after our teenage daughter was diagnosed with papillary thyroid cancer that was discovered accidentally on a CT scan of her neck following a softball injury. At this point in the story, Cheyenne had just had her thyroid and one lymph node removed and we are at Texas Children's Hospital waiting for discharge--so, the story continues.

After Cheyenne had recovered from the bath ordeal (LOL), she was still a bit grumpy, but she was much better than she had been as she asked, "Mom, how much longer 'till we can go?"

"I'm not sure. We have to wait until the doctor comes in and discharges you." I had answered.

"I'm ready to get out of here and get some real sleep!" She touted.

"I know, I am too." I said in complete agreement.

My sister, Terri, had completely surprised us by coming down from Kansas City the morning of Chey's surgery. Ed (my spousal unit), myself and Chey spent this waiting time chit chatting. Terri, on the other hand, was itching to take us out. She had been on her phone searching here and there for something special. "Hey, have you guys ever eaten at a Brazilian Steakhouse?" She asked.

We answered, "No."

"Oh my gosh, we have got to find one. You guys will love it!"

I could tell Cheyenne wasn't too keen on the idea, she just wanted some uninterrupted sleep time. I tried to casually dissuade Terri, but she really wanted to take us out. The discharge orders were given and we finally released. By that time, we adults were pretty hungry! Chey still seemed like she would rather go on back to the Ronald McDonald House but she never said a word.

Terri had found the place she was looking for, Figo de Chao Brazilian Steakhouse. She explained that it was an upscale Brazilian chain with an all you can eat, meat-carved at your table, experience.

"I hope this is like the one we have at home. They have an amazing salad bar with every side you could imagine." She was just gushing. "They will give you a little card that's red on one side, and green on the other. When you want meat, turn up the green side and they will bring the meat to the table and cut the serving for you. When you don't, just turn the red side up!"

I asked her, "What kinds of meats do they serve?"

She explained that there were usually several cuts of beef, pork, chicken and lamb, "But not sure of this chain."

Now I perked up at the mention of lamb. We had grown up in Iowa and we had lamb chops fairly often and I LOVE IT! Lamb is one of those meats you either love or hate, I've never really seen anyone in the middle. Doesn't bother me though, if you don't like it, that leaves more for me! The bad thing is, Cheyenne happens to love lamb also. Good thing she said all you can eat.

Ed followed Terri's directions and we arrived at the restaurant. I was a little worried that we were underdressed, it was very upscale! We hadn't planned on anything extravagant, all we had thought about was getting that cancer out of our daughter. Terri insisted that there would be people dressed as laid back as we were, she was right.

We went in and the décor was almost more Mediterranean to me. (Lol, not sure what Brazilian should look like.) There were loads of exposed, wooden beams and wines stored in mass. The tables were covered in pristine-white tablecloths and the waitstaff was dressed formally in black slacks with white dress shirts. Terri had stopped and spoken with the hostess as we were being seated.

Wow, Terri had not exaggerated at all! The salad bar was absolutely phenomenal! There was every side you could imagine. There was artichoke, asparagus, couscous, cream cheese grapes (Chey's fav), and olives of every kind. Add, mushrooms, cheeses, salads, prosciutto wraps, shrimp and items we had never seen before. (Personally, I would have been satisfied just with the salad bar.) After filling our plates, we ambled back to our table. The waiter came over and brought plantains and mashed potatoes served family style, in multi-serving bowls. Cheyenne had perked up, by this time, and I think the smells were winning over the fatigue battle and she seemed to be liking the experience.

Right behind this, the carvers came with huge skewers of meat! I really wasn't ready for meat yet, but "What the heck." I turned my card up, as did Ed and Terri, and the gut bust began. My goodness, they brought prime rib, steak, chicken, shrimp, pork and the most scrumptious lamb chops-one after another! Chey eventually turned her card up, as well. We tried a little bit of each meat produced. I was happily surprised, Cheyenne inhaled the lamb and a bit of the others. I had been worried she would not be able to eat. She and I both had multiple servings of the lamb, but Ed and Terri seemed to like the beef the best.

Finally, we were stuffed like ticks, and we turned those cards over and then they had the gall to ask about dessert! There was no way I could eat one more morsel, let alone a dessert, but Chey was game. She settled on some kind of chocolate fudge-filled molten brownie cake with ice cream on the side. When they brought it to the table, we discovered why Terri had spoken to the hostess. In bold red strawberry sauce, they had written "congratulations" along the perimeter of the plate. Terri had told them about Cheyenne's surgery and that we were celebrating her hospital release! It was really a sweet, sweet gesture.

We all sat there, a little shocked, as Cheyenne demolished that dessert. We finished up and slowly made it to the door. There is no way any of us could have moved quickly!

Next time, On To the Galleria,

XXOO Make Everyday Count

Bonnie